I understand why people balk at the idea of New Year’s resolutions — too much room for failure and no one needs to feel bad about themselves in the dark days of late January. But I have always loved the idea of the new year. The promise and potential! The freedom that comes from leaving behind all of the crap of the previous year. There’s something so liberating about it. Like that first shower after a few days sick in bed (currently me).
I have mentioned her before, but I had the deep pleasure of working with the very wise and empowering Corina Crysler of
. She offers 2024 forecasting sessions so you can get a sense of the year ahead and I just listened to my recording. So much of it was about identifying what I want, something she’s been pushing me to do. What have I come here to say and who do I want to reach and what, deep down, do I really want? Not what I think I should want, but what feels essential and honest. It’s a much harder exercise than you would think.And I got chills when she said I needed to work on my need for validation, something I had just mentioned to my husband. I want people to like me and, oftentimes, that need for approval is self-sabotaging.
talks beautifully about female wanting, core or soul wanting, on her podcast. She offers up the gorgeous idea of discussing our wantings with other women as a way to sort envy from desire. Women are programmed to believe that success is a scarcity, but that is a myth. When we get to the root of our true wanting, it’s unique and poetic and there’s room at the table for all of our desires.The other thing that came bubbling up when thinking about what I really want? Connection and community. I want this newsletter to be a kind of gathering place where we can share ideas and stories and, also, excellent moisturizers or perfect grey sweaters. If you like this newsletter, would you please share? Or give it a 💛 so I can get my self-validation dopamine rush? Because I absolutely love connecting with you each week. I can’t tell you how much joy it brings me! So if you happen to like it too, spread the word? That would be pretty amazing.
I look at resolutions as excuses to find joy. When I was sick (cancer sick, not cold sick) I never wanted to be social. I was too tired, too insecure with my weird, fuzzy head, too something. I said no for so long that I fear it has become my default mode. But not anymore! I resolve to spend more time with friends and the people I love in 2024. There will be parties and quiet dinners and casual park dates. I want to hug people and laugh uproariously and talk and listen. I want to feel connected again.
December brought some of that and, let me tell you, it was wonderful. Now I want more, more, more.
Lastly, I want to go on more dates with my husband. Another form of connection. And I’m not talking about fancy dinners, although that would be nice too. I’m talking about a Saturday morning hike or a walk around the vineyard or a quick lunch in the middle of the work day. Time to be together outside of kids which feels foundational and necessary. It’s easy to start acting like roommates with shared household duties that involve taking care of two small humans. The demands of laundry and lunchboxes and feeding the dog and getting “fresh water with ice cubes” because our kids think this is a luxury resort can strip the romance right out of things. So I’m resolving to spend more time as the original twosome.
I have big plans for the new year. I’ll be doing fun and exciting things with this newsletter; finishing edits on my manuscript; hopefully finding a day job that I really love to support the writing of said newsletter and manuscript. Can’t wait to see where it all goes. I’m so thankful that you’re here!!
A friend recommended this to me and I immediately special ordered it from my bookstore (it seems out of print or hard to find). I thoroughly enjoyed Allegra Goodman’s novel Sam and cannot wait to check out this “delicious novel about appetite, temptation and holding onto what is real in a virtual world.” Sounds right up my alley. Allegra Goodman, The Cookbook Collector
I mentioned that I had started reading Demon Copperhead in my last newsletter and I cannot recommend it enough. Set in Southern Appalachia, it’s about a young man searching for belonging it’s about the opioid epidemic that was particularly devastating in rural America. It is heartbreaking and funny and tragic and hopeful all at once. Barbara Kingsolver, Demon Copperhead
I started my social resolution early with a cozy, perfect dinner at a friend’s house recently where they made this jaw-dropping dish that I cannot stop thinking about. Layers of spiced chicken with cinnamon and a hint of chocolate, plus a little bit of heat from dried chillies under a flaky pastry. Spectacular! Ottolenghi Chicken Pastilla
Excellent background music for putting away the holiday decorations. Maia Kamil Send it to Me
God, these are expensive, but my perennial favorites over at Apiece Apart have done it again with these High Sport-esque viscose kick-flare pants. I love all three colors. Doing mental gymnastics to work out the cost per wear! Apiece Apart Rene Pull On Pant $495
The knit jacket I got my husband for Christmas was a BIG success and it looks very, very good on him. I also tucked this shirt from the same company under the tree and it too is terrific (on sale as I write this). LaFaurie Essaouira Shirt $100
I love this sweet, vintage-feeling little cardigan. H&M Hole Knit Cardigan $49.99
I saw a picture of Lucy Williams in these Blundstones and now I can’t stop thinking about them. She has the lug sole version and they feel like just the thing for stomping around muddy vineyards. Blundstone Lug Chelsea Boots $234
This feels like an old La Ligne sweater that I have and love and wear repeatedly. Gap 24/7 Split Hem Polo Sweater $55
I started taking these fatty acid supplements in mid-November and I want to give it another month to really see the effects, but I am already hooked. Designed to reverse cellular aging, its the first essential fatty acid to be discovered since omegas. Liver, heart, metabolic health. This little pill seems to do it all. Fatty 15
This incredibly delicate, extremely pretty little ring was tucked under the Christmas tree this year and I absolutely love it. Otiumberg Three Stone Bamboo Ring $210
This little nightgown makes me feel like Selma Blair in Cruel Intentions. Sweet and very sexy, like practicing kissing with Sarah Michelle Gellar. Currently on sale. Skin Pointelle Knit Nightdress $90
An excellent deep red table lamp to shed some light on a dark little corner. H&M Metal Table Lamp $101
These socks have been one of my better purchases of late! Cozy, snug (I hate when socks slip and puddle under your foot), and a pretty shade of grey. Zara Long Ribbed Socks $12.90
A gorgeous friend gifted me this pulse point oil for Christmas and it has become a lovely little lift that I reach for throughout the day. Subtle, soft and romantic. Flamingo Estate Night Blooming Jasmine and Damask Rose Fragrant Oil $34
I’m not blind to the challenges ahead in 2024, what with another polarizing, divisive election cycle, an ongoing catastrophic war, the stark fear of melting ice caps and rising global temperatures. But I am also hopeful. Let’s examine what it is we’re yearning for. Imagine what could happen when we get really clear on what we want. I can’t wait to see that.
LOL at "fresh water with ice cubes” — my 2 1/2 year old has been asking for "cold water" lately, not just water.
I look at those pants every few months and can't ever hit that pay button. Maybe 2024 will be the year!