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“You don’t get to stay comfortable if you want to change your life,” the voice from my car speaker said with conviction. I hit rewind and then again. Recently, I’d read something similar about all creative acts being inherently uncomfortable. Sure, there are times when writing seems to flow effortlessly, but most of the time I am working hard to string the right sentences together or to write believable dialogue. And it is so satisfying when it clicks. When I look at the page and think, yep, nailed it.
I often link to The Good Life Project podcast because I think the host, Jonathan Fields, has excellent guests and who doesn’t want to live a good life?? Recently, he did a bit of a mash up between bestselling authors who write about women and money, two topics of interest to me.
I’ve written about this before, but money is such a misaligned topic. We’re not supposed to talk about it but we are encouraged to succeed by parents, teachers, outrageous home tours and any lifestyle splashed across Bravo. You are supposed to get rich on the American Dream, but stay humble and certainly don’t flaunt your success. Side hustles, and extra gigs and churning your way to the top. You need to break glass ceilings, be an achiever, rise, rise, rise.
The second woman interviewed, Jen, is a creative and she talks about how the artist is supposed to reject money as a politicized representation of patriarchy/the man/the wide thumb of government. But it doesn’t feel good to be broke! In fact, it feels terrible.
For so long I mismanaged money and then accrued an enormous, crippling amount of medical debt thanks to two babies in the NICU and years of cancer treatment. I skipped meals and avoided my mailbox because I didn’t want to face the white envelopes with aggressive words stamped in red ink like OVERDUE, FINAL NOTICE. I missed a good friend’s wedding because I couldn’t afford the plane ticket and my relationship with that friend hasn’t been the same since. Andrew and I fought about who was spending more on groceries each week and whose turn it was to pay the preschool invoice. We were late on our rent more than once. We were trapped in a scarcity mindset, even with good jobs and regular income.
Thanks to beautifully generous friends and family, we eventually paid off the medical bills and the pressure receded. How freeing to be out from under it! But I can so quickly get back there, holding my breath at a register until the word “Approved” pops up on the screen, even though I know there’s money in the bank. On the podcast they talk about money as empowering — money enables you to leave bad jobs, bad relationships, bad apartments. The two women both had some excellent tips about how to start building wealth.
It feels important to balance out the existing 1% with kind, compassionate, altruistic individuals. Better people at the top would be better for everyone. Wouldn’t it be great if making money wasn’t villainized? What would it be like to have enough to free you up to pursue your wildest creative dreams? I, for one, would love to find out.
After two excellent reader friends both insisted that I read The Rachel Incident within days of each other, I immediately picked it and tore through it. This blurb from Grabrielle Zevin from the back of the book sums it up perfectly: “If you've ever been unsure what to do with your degree in English; if you've ever wondered when the rug-buying part of your life will start...if you've ever loved the wrong person, or the right person at the wrong time...In short, if you've ever been young, you will love The Rachel Incident like I did.”
Maggie Rogers has been on rotation since she first popped up on the scene a few years ago and her new album has become my driving/walking/cooking go-to. Maggie Rogers, Don’t Forget Me
Top Chef is back!! My favorite reality show (really, the only reality show I watch) takes place in Wisconsin this year with previous winner Kristen Kish taking Padma’s place. Kristen is so great, Tom is better than ever and Andrew has a huge crush on Gail. I’m very excited for my weekly watch.
Can’t wait to check out sexy Colin Farrell playing a sexy private detective in the new series Sugar. Have you started watching it??
One commenter said these are basically scrubs and she’s not wrong, but that’s part of why I love them. Comfortable, adjustable, endlessly washable. I wore them poolside on spring break with my bathing suit and felt terrific. Plus, every time I wear them my husband says he wants a pair. Free People Livin’ In It Pants $68
A preppy, slouchy, sexy little polo shirt. Would be excellent with those red scrub-y pants. Massimo Dutti Mesh Polo $69.90
A friend wore these to the park the other day and I could not stop staring. They look like they cost hundreds of dollars and I was floored when she said they were Warby Parker. Buying immediately. Warby Parker Sonia $95
How much fun is this serving bowl?? Would make al fresco dinners feel like a vacation. H&M Fish Serving Bowl $39.99 Also available in this adorable smaller version, great for nuts or olives.
Fun gold earrings to brighten up an outfit. Sezane Sun Earrings $125
A pretty, blousy top to wear with high-waisted jeans so I can feel like Jane Birkin. AYR The Good Aura $145
A great little gingham top for when you want to feel springy, but still need to layer. Doen June Top $158
OMG, this tomato-colored long linen jacket. My idea of transitional perfection. Reformation Irene Jacket $268
I can’t remember where I first read about these — maybe from
?? — but I have finally found my perfect pair of underwear!! Soft, flattering, no weird lines (probably not completely invisible, but I am entering my zero f*cks years). Bare Necessities is currently having a 30% off sale! Natori Bliss Cotton 3-Pack $48A sweet, completely special little earring. Twig Earring $420